Have you ever watched yourself–after years of therapy (I’m talking decades) and way past old enough to know better–act out every insecurity you have in the most embarrassing way in front of a person you’re desperate to impress? Yep. Just did that. Release and recover. Let’s talk about it.
What are my insecurities you ask?
Probably the same as yours.
Take a deep breath, my Calm app said, turning it on, hoping to regain some dignity after that emotional debacle. Jay Shetty to the rescue. My meditation for the day: How do you recover when emotions throw you off kilter? Instead of self-critiquing, you want to self-correct. Release and Recover. “Offer yourself kindness whenever you are off-kilter,” Jay Shetty instructs. The sooner you realize your imbalance, the quicker to reset. I guess. Jay sounds a lot more confident about it than I feel.
What surprised me most is I thought I put all those insecurities behind me, forgotten them, and left them to languish in the remnants of my youthful years. I thought they were conquered. Nope. They were merely dormant.
The garden is going dormant now. The trees are spectacular with their fall display, and the air has that unique-to-fall crispness that screams nostalgia. My perennials are begging to be cut back. (Cut them back in late September or early October, and don’t wait until November as I do.) Still, the roses are giving it one more go, which I appreciate after Hurricane Helene caused such a ruckus.
The perennials are all head down, wilting in the cooler temps, looking their absolute worst. They’ve bloomed their little heads off all summer and now, they’re done. They look like I feel.
It’s so satisfying to cut back the dead and dying perennial leaves. You cut them back to the ground. Yes, to the ground, leave nothing. (See below for perennial definition). The brilliant thing about cutting perennials back to the ground is that they pop back up in spring all whistle-clean and happy after their winter of sleep. Now, that is release and recovery. Cut back, call it quits, get some sleep, and wake fresh and fair. I’m in favor.
Perennial Definition: A perennial is a plant that lives two to three years and regrows each spring. Yes, exceptions (peonies, balloon flowers) live for decades, but the 2-3 year rule applies mainly. The best part? In spring, they reappear with little to no effort on your part.
Read my work blog here for more information on cutting back perennials. Read here for information on dividing perennials (a good way to propagate and keep them going).
I’m unsure how good I am at recovering my spiraling emotions, but the garden does help me release them. I’ll be honest; I don’t want to release and recover. I don’t wanna spiral in the first place. I’ve become a pro at avoiding the landmines of my insecurities. No need to spin out when the emotions aren’t acknowledged AT ALL. Every self-help item (workbooks, books, videos, even old Jay himself) has told me to process my emotions, i.e., don’t do what I did and let them go dormant. Processing is essential for your mental health and stress.
But. The garden reminds me that life has cycles and that dormancy is a cycle. For me, dormancy displayed itself in my emotional life. But here’s the thing about dormancy: When a plant enters dormancy, its growth and metabolic activities are reduced, and it saves energy to endure harsher conditions. During this phase, plants get ready for cold weather and limited nutrients, and the focus is on the root systems, strengthening them. Energy goes from shoots to roots. So, stuff is happening whether the gardener fully sees that or not.
My perennials remind me that not all life happens simultaneously. It occurs in cycles. So, maybe my dormant emotions allowed for the growth of stronger roots. That way, my root system could keep me anchored when my out-of-kilter feelings emerged. Release and recover.
XO, Cinthia