The Taliban Blew Up My House Today

Okay, so yeah, I still have issues. At 55. I see myself as such an uber-cool adult woman who is slightly successful, but not overly, because then I wouldn’t be humble. I also have an amazing wardrobe, interesting friends, and the ability to be pretty chill about everything,  At least, that’s my picture of myself, a chill, well-dressed, successful woman.

And then, the Taliban blows up my house.

Here’s what happened. I dreamed that my ex brought his new girlfriend over to meet me. (I need to add that she is also his ex-mistress, which might help you understand the dream a tad bit better.) I didn’t ask him to bring her. He volunteered, presuming it would be nice if we met. He can be so thoughtful that way. Anyway, so there she is sitting on my couch in my new little rental house that I love, and well, AWKWARD. Then the ex informs me that he is going to leave her with me for a week, so we can really get to know each other. And, then he leaves. I’m freaking out, but before I have time to say do you prefer flat or fluffy pillows, the Taliban shows up and starts bombing my house. So, I grab my College Son, who is asleep. Remember, he’s in college, he can sleep through ex-mistresses and the Taliban. I jerk him awake, and we run to safety, while my house burns to the ground. There goes my cute little house.

The dream was so real that I had to stop myself from calling my ex today and saying, “The farm wasn’t enough? She had to hire the Taliban to blow up my house?! It’s a rental. What do I do now?!”

So, if you spend most of your day thinking, am I ever going to get over my issues, take solace. The Taliban is probably not blowing up your house.

Fortunately, for me, my boss is a godly, Christian man. I told him my dream when I got to work today. After he stopped laughing, he said, “Cinthia, you need this book I’m reading on total forgiveness.”

I said, “When she stops destroying everything, I’ll forgive her.”

He cut his eyes sideways at me. It’s his look. The look that says, is that forgiveness? Is that how Christ forgave and forgives? Well no. He forgave while they were torturing him, mocking him, and crucifying him. He forgave during not after. And then it hit me. Forgiveness is a during event, not an after. It is an on-going process, not something I do when the dust finally settles, because let’s face it, it may never settle with some folks.

I buried my head in my hands and said, “I’m so screwed up and the Taliban burnt down my house!”

My boss smiled and said, “Well, my dear, we all are. That’s why it is called grace.”

And so it is. Grace extended to everyone. Even the Taliban and ex-mistresses. Could anything be more radical than that?


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