Christians are No Longer Cool

I left my sheltered world of a stay-at-home mom on the farm, went back to work, and quickly found out that being a Christian is so not cool. I don’t know if it ever was cool, but I’d never gotten flack for being one, until now.

It seems, I’m suspected of judging every single soul on the planet. Like Santa, I’m thought to be sitting at home making a list of who’s naughty and nice, and checking it twice. (I’m not. I’m actually watching NCIS:LA. LL Cool J is my celebrity crush.) I’m told by people, who do not know me or my faith, that I should never judge another person. It just isn’t right.

I looked up the word judge. It means to form an opinion or conclusion about.

Ok, yeah, I’ve done that. From like, preschool on.

But mostly over stupid stuff. Not the big stuff like race, lifestyle, financial status or who I thought should go directly to hell. It was mostly hair, or body (she’s way too skinny), or the way they raised their kids, or their big house, or just whatever. Dumb things. I don’t do that now because, well, I’ve lived long enough to consider my own parenting, hair, weight and weightier subjects.

And, I don’t get riled up over the morals of others because I don’t have a moral leg to stand on, and frankly, I don’t care.

I’ve done little judging, but definitely my fair share of critiquing.

Weirdly, there are people who are judging me for the possibility that I might be judging others. And, yes, I do realize that plenty of Christians are judgmental, but seriously? It’s not like we hold all the cards on that one. Non-Christians are just as quick to judge others, too. It’s a lesson for all of us, not just the Jesus followers.

It’s also assumed that I hate gays, hate Muslims, hate Obama, hate Hilary (well, she is annoying), and anything else left of right. Geez. I’m given too much credit. I rarely consider any of these issues or people. I’m too busy with Cinthia-world, which is not an easy world to run, just FYI.

If not all Muslims are radical extremists, then why are all Christians non-tolerant, judgmental, fundamentalists? Just asking.

Look, there’s a judge, and it’s not me. His name is Jesus, He instructs me to leave the judging up to him because it is too big and burdensome for my shoulders, and besides, I can’t see inside a person’s heart and he can. So, I do. Judging is too hard, too complicated. I haven’t walked where you walk. I haven’t traveled your journey. I don’t live in your skin. Nor you in mine. But, I am a big proponent of being traveling buddies, even the Navy Seals do that. I’d rather skip the judging (me of you or you of me), and see if we can help each other along the way because the way can be hard. And, while we’re traveling, let’s skip the critiquing, too. My dad called it gossip, and I know for a fact, Christian or not, we’re all guilty of that.




Would I Quit My Job Again?

I get asked this question a lot: Would you quit your job to stay home with your children if you had it to do over again?

Because after staying home with my children for almost 20 years, and then going through a divorce, I am starting over, not just in my personal life, but in my career. And, I am starting over without the back-up of a second income. It’s like being 25 when you’re 55 in the work force. Adding to the equation is the whole notion that at 55, I am beyond hiring, and beyond making any real money.

Let me address the age issue before I get into the “would I have quit my job if I had it do over again” question.

The age thing:

  • I am finally at an age where I can work without distractions. I am not trying to balance home life and work life.
  • I can travel or move anywhere in the world.
  • I do not have to take sick days because someone other than myself is sick.
  • I can work 24/7 if needed and I often do. A typical evening for me is to come home, shower, cook something simple (okay, that’s a lie, I eat key lime pie) and then start working again.
  • I take countless courses, and obtain as much training as I can personally get (and pay for it myself), because I am passionate about what I do, and I can be single-minded about it. Nothing competes for my attention or time.
  • At 55, I am not idle. I don’t look to the future and see years ahead of me. I would like to retire when I am 72. So, the next 20 years have got to count.
  • I am way more mature than most 20-somethings (not all, but a lot) and I have connections that they do not.
  • I am often considered by clients to be a more responsible person to interact with–and it is not uncommon that I have a personal relationship with the clients.
  • I am healthy and work a job that requires me to lift up to 50 pounds, crawl up and squat down, and be outside all day in every kind of weather, on my feet. I can do that. I have worked in some of the worst conditions possible (hail, rain, freezing cold). My 20-year-old son, who plays college soccer, has said he wouldn’t and couldn’t do what I do. All this to say that the idea that I am a poor health choice is ridiculous.
  • I am hungry. Hungry people work hard and are grateful to do so.
  • I do want a career. After years of raising my boys, I’d love to have a full-time, meaningful, and something to be proud of, career.

So, that’s my answer for the age thing. There is absolutely no reason not to hire me. In fact, there are many reasons to hire me.

Now, on to the first question. Would I have quit my job if I had known the divorce was coming, and I’d be in this scramble position of creating a career? Yes.

Absolutely I would do it again. For me, it was the right decision. Being a mom, creating a home, giving them a safe environment to grow up in, was my first and only priority. And, I am not a multi-tasker. I truly can’t do two things at once. I knew that about myself and I know that about myself. So, for me, it was exactly the right decision. Please note, it is not the right decision for all moms. It was the right decision for me. And, yes, it was a huge financial sacrifice for us, but life is about knowing your path and following it.

Listen, I read a lot of career advice, and what it mostly says is that I committed career suicide by staying home, and when my husband left, the last nail was nailed into my career coffin. I am told that I should find a way to live without enjoying a career now, or making much money. I suppose I am constrained to old lady-hood by society’s standards. What a load of bull. I plan to have an exciting, adventurous career that helps create a better environment for my granddaughters–if I have to invent that career myself.

So, yes, I stayed home to raise my children and I’m glad I did. I was fortunate to do so. Now, I’m going to have a career that helps my grandchildren have a healthier world to live in.

Ultimately, it’s all about the babies.

And, now, before my bedtime, I will write up notes for two clients. I will work on promotional material to give clients tomorrow so they can more easily refer me. 10 years ago, I’d be reading bedtime stories.