Frog on a garden flat

Finances, Fingernails, and Frog in a Blender

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Frog in a Blender (caladium, an annual for me, but so worth it)

This is Frog in a Blender. My new favorite plant. It’s a caladium. You have to love it and the name, right?

I worry a lot about finances. I guess most of us do. I often think I should work in an industry that pays more. Or isn’t seasonal. Or would make me rich but not famous. (I’d hate being famous.) I worry that I should have a “normal job,” whatever that is. And, then I get all stressed out and weird about “what I should be doing,” instead of remembering that I love what I do, and that I would die if I had to sit in an office day in and day out, and possibly not know (before everyone else knows) that a plant called Frog in a Blender exists. I’m not wired for an inside job, except on days when it’s windy, and then I am completely wired for one.

Other days, it isn’t the finances, it’s the fingernails. I mean, as desperate as this makes me, a French manicure is not worth my money. It lasts about 15 minutes on my job. I can actually get stressed over this. I have conversations about it with my female co-workers (and my male co-workers who look like they want to shoot themselves or me). With Felco pruners and a Hori Hori knife attached to my belt, I’m bemoaning the fact that even with gloves on, a manicure is hopeless.

This causes much confusion for a girl who loves dresses and perfume. Sometimes, I wonder if I go to church every Sunday solely to justify buying dresses instead of Carhartts. I yearn for 2″ heels and good hair days while lifting and loading more weight than most 20-something-year-old girls actually weigh. I imagine myself with the desk job, wearing a great dress and having manicured nails. I’m like the people who tell me what a fun job I have. They don’t think about working in the rain (all day, pouring rain) or the heat, or the cold, or the physicality of it. They just think the plants are cool, and being outside is awesome. I don’t think about the reports that need doing, or attending meetings, or late night deadlines, I’m imaging how great I’d look.

I can get worked up wondering if I am doing the right thing or the right job. Which begs the question, what is the right thing? What is the right job? Heck, if I know. But, I stress over doing it quite a bit.

But then, something happens to jolt me back to my reality. Like Carol, a co-worker saying, Have you seen Frog in a Blender? (I thought she’d made drinks in the potting area.) No, I haven’t seen it. So, I go view Frog in a Blender, and am reminded that I am in the right place.

There is a lot to be said about being in your right spot, be it work or personal. But one thing cannot be said about it. Perfection. It is still not everything you need. If it was, I’d be wearing dresses while making more money, and spending my days outside playing in the dirt. We truly cannot have it all. And, if I had to guess, I’d guess that having it all is what we think the result of “doing it right”  is.

Finding that formula that makes the balance of all things work.

In other words, we wouldn’t have to make choices. We could have it all without feeling overwhelmed, overworked, or over-anything. But, we do. We do have to make choices.

Tomorrow, I will choose to work outside all day with plants, and birds, and bees, and critters of all sorts. Including this guy, who did not end up in a blender.

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Frog not in a Blender

And, I will sort-of be happy with that choice.