Dating, Iced Tea, and a Year of Silence

1. When you’re young and single, people ask you if you’re ever going to get married.English: A Glass of iced tea.

2. When you’re newly married and without children, people ask when you’re going to start having children.

3. If you have an only child, people ask when you’re going to get pregnant again.

4. If you have over four children, people ask if you’re going to stop now.

5. If you’re divorced, people ask when you’re going to start dating again.

Perhaps we should all just stay at question number one because question number 5 seems to just cycle back around to it.

But, to answer question number 5, since that is my current situation, and everyone does seem curious.

If, and that is a big if because I do not have a line of men outside my front door (or any other place for that matter), but IF some guy came along and wanted to date me, well, here’s what he would have to do.

He would sit across the room from me. In a chair. I’m probably on the couch. He would have to sit quietly in the chair for say, about a year. Just silence, no words. No talking.

After a year, he could ask me if I would like some tea (iced tea, of course). I’m not going to answer verbally, but depending on how the year of silence has gone, I will either shake my head yes, or simply not respond at all.

If it is a yes and he brings me iced tea (with lots of ice…just saying) then he must return to his chair, and we would resume sitting in silence again. I really don’t know how long this second round of silence needs to be. I haven’t gotten that far in my thinking yet. I just can’t say.

So, what’d ya think?

What’s it Like to be Single (again)

So, yeah. I get that question a lot.

What’s it like to be single again?

Well, it is a  heck of a lot  different from the first go round, I can say that. For one, I am not hanging out in bars (praise the Lord). Two, an evening at home alone is a good thing. Three, I no longer feel the need to be attractive to men.

 

I spent my 20s in and out of relationships. It was exhausting, really. At that age, everyone is dating and everyone wants to be in a relationship. You’re surrounded by men and women who want to date. By the time I did get married at 29, the pickings were getting slimmer. It’s like a friend said, “You slid in under the wire.”

Jump to now. Single at 54 is very different. Everyone is not in the same boat. Some of us are divorced, widowed and single, others are not. The arena is vastly different. The fish in this sea are not as plentiful, and some are swimming mighty slow. Gyms, bars, work, stores, and so forth are not full of single men my age looking for single women my age. Its a bit more like finding a needle in a haystack. And, I’ve already written that I’m really not interested.

But, to answer the question, so, what’s it like?

Its a bit of a self journey, because it can be. I’m not responsible for another person. I can focus on myself, because I’m it. I’ve begun to understand myself better because there isn’t anyone else that needs me to understand them. I’m discovering my personal preferences, dreams and secret aspirations–things I had no time to think about with a family. Hopefully, all this self reflection won’t make me a more difficult person, who is stuck in her ways. Hopefully, it will make me a better, more caring person, who understands her spot in the world better.

One thing is for certain, depending on God becomes crucial because there is no one else to depend on. That second pair of hands isn’t there, so I find myself praying a lot for strength, physical and otherwise. I find myself praying for the ability to take on the new challenges that I face. God has become extremely real. Once, a friend suggested that my Christianity (new then) would peter out somewhat, and not be so intense, after the “phase” of it wore off. She was absolutely correct. It did lose that flame of passion that accompanies newbies in the faith. No more. God is more real now than he has ever been and for that I am thrilled.

There is the very likely realty that I’ll spend the rest of my life alone. I’ve got to be okay with that. I am okay with that. But, being single isn’t a disease. It’s a way of life. One that I must learn after being married for 24 years, but one that is learn-able. It isn’t horrible. Its just different.

I liked being married, but I like being single.

So, I’ll enjoy being single for now. If God brings a man along with a glass of iced tea, well then, we’ll see what happens. But for now, single is a-okay.

I

Dating, Iced Tea and a Year of Silence

English: A Glass of iced tea.

English: A Glass of iced tea. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

1. When you’re young and single, people ask you if you’re ever going to get married.

2. When you’re newly married and without children, people ask when you’re going to start having children.

3. If you have an only child, people ask when you’re going to get pregnant again.

4. If you have over four children, people ask if you’re going to stop now.

5. If you’re divorced, people ask when you’re going to start dating again.

Perhaps we should all just stay at question number one because question number 5 seems to just cycle back around to it.

But, to answer question number 5, since that is my current situation, and everyone does seem curious.

If, and that is a big if because I do not have a line of men outside my front door (or any other place for that matter), but IF some guy came along and wanted to date me, well, here’s what he would have to do.

He would have to sit across the room from me. In a chair. I’m probably on the couch. He would have to sit quietly in the chair for say, about a year. Just silence, no words.

After about a year, he could ask me if I would like some tea (iced tea, of course). I’m not going to answer verbally, but depending on how the year of silence has gone, I will either shake my head yes, or simply not respond at all.

If it is a yes and he brings me iced tea (with lots of ice…just saying) then he must return to his chair, and we would resume sitting in silence again. I really don’t know how long this second round would go for. I just can’t say.

So, what d’ya think?